Time

Clarina Tiara Agneta
2 min readMay 5, 2024

Why do you have to overthink everything?

Why can’t you just trust me and wait?

Why can’t you just accept and swallow it as a truth?

Why can’t you just support me and understand?

Why is it so hard for you to tell me what you feel?

Why can’t you simply tell me your doubt and needs?

So many questions, right?

Me too..

Why do you push me away whenever something happen?

Why do you change your behavior a lot?

Why do you keep me feeling in doubt about your feelings toward me?

Why so many times I keep feeling like you have lost your interest?

Why do you have to yell and hurt me whenever I am telling you what I feel?

Why can’t you simply accept that I just need more time to adapt to this new changes?

You said, “Why? Why do you look so upset?”

Why? Why can’t I show you my real feelings, and thoughts?

How can I express my stupid random affections to you without being scared you’re gonna be upset?

All the arguments, all the fight and night calls..

I realize it all derived into something at the end, just like you said..

“It’s only a matter of time now..”

Hey, do you think I’m weak?

I watched someone go from loving me everyday to acting like if I didn’t exist in the world.

Maybe it’s not that I am weak, its just you have lost the spark toward me.

But I am afraid it hurts more because I know I will never have another chance to be with you and fix things again.

Sometimes, I don’t even know whether it can still be fixed or not.

Both of us are tired, tired of each other..

And I know there’s nothing I can do to change it

Is there something that can still be negotiated?

Everyday when you are away, I keep asking myself.

I am asking God, “God, what if it doesn’t work?”

“Na, what if you’ve done your best and it still doesn’t work?”

Its unexplainable my feelings recently..

My heart’s already breaking, whenever I am in doubt,

Whenever I fight those feelings inside to trust you again,

Every time we kiss, every time you say you love me

I feel like we twisted the knife, we hurt each other

Many nights I am still crying too, trying to figure out things to solve this

Whatever happen at the end of the road, I want you to know

That it doesn’t matter where we take this road,

But I guess someone’s got to go

And I want you to know, you couldn’t have loved me better

But I want you to move on, so I’m already gone.

You know that I love you so,

but I think I love you enough to let you go.

So..

At the end of this road,

time will turn us back into strangers.

For good.

P.S = your happiness matters for me.

So, go for what makes you happy, even if it’s without me..

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