I Choose Myself

And suddenly I got the feeling

I don’t want him anymore

Which is weird because for so long,

I thought he was my everything

I remember how he used to make me laugh

How safe I felt in his arms

But then I also remember the tears

The nights I sat alone, wondering why I wasn’t enough?

Why he kept looking for another

I realized that I kept making excuses for him

Maybe he is busy, maybe he is tired..

Maybe I am expecting too much..

But deep down I know..

Love shouldn’t feel like this, right?

I was giving all of myself to someone who only gave me half in return

I kept holding on, thinking things would change

But they never did.

And suddenly I knew, I deserve peace

I deserve someone who chooses me without hesitation

I didn’t stop loving him overnight,

but I started loving myself even more..

And no one knows the strength I took to choose myself again

Finally after so many years of choosing everyone else,

I choose myself.

Is that okay if I feel okay of losing him?

Now all I feel has gone, I can only smile at how he tried to keep me around

I appreciate it, I felt happy for what he tried..

But will I ever feel the same again?

I can’t always show himmy fragile side, cause I know I might burden him

If only I could change it, I would..

but I don’t know how to change it anymore

I can only be his comfy place to stop by

I could never be his destination for this journey

Just take some rest in me, I’ll take care of you

But I hope one day you’ll find your eternal home.

Your last stop, and it might not be me