Clarina Tiara Agneta
2 min readSep 26, 2022

That morning, that blue shirt, black-teacher-flat shoes, brownish-watch.. that’s her.. Her wide smiling face, with the sound of clinking key hanging on her neck.. Her messy hair after a ride on a motorcycle..

Yes, her.. From the very first time I met her, I realized things that she had, that I didn’t. She always smiling, talkative, a good listener. She really is a kind person. The way she laugh easily with his jokes, a very kind and tender girl.

Her.. a very kind person, always kind even to someone she never met, or someone she haven’t met for a long time. Amazing how she filled up every empty space in his life.. She is that kind of girl, a girl that everyone would love to be around with. A girl that always remember simple things, the one that always tries to understand everyone.

Her, being with her is his wish. I envy her.

Her fierce eyes whenever she stood up for what she believes for. A woman who can stood up for herself. She went through a lot of things. Yes, sometimes she is crying too, but she managed to smile and stand up once again. Ones that cries easily, but also laugh easily.

Her.. her gesture when she wants to explain something. Her loud laugh with no doubt when she is happy. Her confident steps even in her nude boots under her batik dress. A woman that’s full of surprises. Ones that very random, loves to read. She knows a lot of things in this world, her clever brain but funny and clumsy way to decide.

Her, a person that always cries for him. A woman that loves him more than herself.

There are so many things about her that I want to write more, but I think I have to stop here. I just want you to know that you are an amazing person, Clarina. I want to say thanks to you from the deepest, thank you for surviving, thank you for being there for me many times, for inspiring me, for encouraging, and for being your true self.

Please do keep what you are doing. Do not crush, do not fell down anymore. I always look up to you. I am rooting for you. I envy you.

You are beautiful. Your heart is always blooming.

Your eyes are full of insight that not everyone could understand you.

And that’s okay. Maybe he just too scared to have a brave woman like you.

Walk as confident as usual, laugh as loud as usual, smile as much as usual.

You’re great, you’re gonna be fine.

You are your own kind of beautiful.

Her, yes, I envy her. Always.