Dear My Coastguard

Tired? Sad? or turned off again?
Well, thats just how it happened
I can’t sleep knowing that you’re tired of me
That sometimes I feel like I am just a big burden

I know that I am dumb
To keep asking for reassurance
Those scars I have
I never wanted to have it
But those scars still hurts

It would be cruel to touch on the scars
“Ouch! That hurts”, she groaned
Hey stupid, do you know that its a scar?
So why do you keep tapping on it?
Is it that hard to not touching those part?

Well, I know she was part of your life
Well maybe she is still valuable for you
That I may never be enough to replace her in your life now
That maybe you guys were meant together except for the big difference that you guys have
I know you hate me when I keep comparing

But how can I stop doing this when you never showed me that you actually only want me
Tell me that just having me is enough
That loving me is what you always wanted
That I am valuable to you without using me as a joke in your statement

How I wish I could hear those words coming from you..
Maybe someday,
When you finally realize that words of affirmation mean a lot to me..

Its not your fault
Its just my stupid thoughts default.
So please I just need to let these things out
My mind is always a fraud
Don’t worry I’ll make you proud
That I can still staying even with these stupid thoughts around sometimes.

Good night, my coastguard.
Thank you for staying.
I am glad I found you in my life.