Broke me! Broke me for Thousand Pieces..

Clarina Tiara Agneta
2 min readApr 13, 2021

“Because I am not simple…”, I said this to myself a lot to my reflection in the mirror lately.

Its funny how this world change super fast when you are in the middle of your own sadness. Yes, I am sad lately. I have tasted broken hearted, finally.

At first I thought to myself, “Great Na, its a brand new you, you are brave enough to decide this. Good job!”

The more I walk on my days, the more I understand that really some pieces of me missing, its like whatever I do still feels ‘uncomplete’.

Yes. That’s right. I have just broke up.

Many deplored my relationship, but also many gave insights to keep moving.

I realized that broke up teach me something that I used to hear it a lot, but never really experienced it before. And now I finally experience it.

My sister once told me:

“Sometimes the only one who can feel how impactful a particular person in your life is only you. Yourself. Nobody else can. Believe in yourself.”

Nobody can, because they are not you. They don’t know how impactful that person in your life, not just because they have different situation, different thoughts. Simply because they are not you.

No matter how many times I think about it, or cry about it, I think its because I can finally feel his impact in my life, right after he left.

Getting through the night is not easy, so I decided to get back to my old hobby. Write it. Just write it down. And you’ll be fine.

What I can say about his impact in my life?

Well, a lot. I guess, he has become my world. Seems like when he left, I have lost my world. 3 years relationship is not a short journey.

Although my world is fully destroyed now, I still believe I can build it again from the beginning in no time.

Kintsugi, a unique culture from Japanese give me new perspective about my self: The more wrecked, the more expensive the value is.

Japanese people use a lot of household made of pottery and ceramic. When the pottery fall and destroyed, they do not immediately throw it away.

Kintsugi is a tradition of fixing the pottery or ceramics by adding a value to it. It is the art of repairing broken pottery with gold.

All I want to say to him is:

Hey there! I hope you’re okay, stay happy and surviving there. Thanks man, for broke me to thousand pieces, you have add value to my life. Thank you for willingly start and broke the relationship together. Now, lets show the world our scars with our valuable glue on it. Thanks for coming and left me with your patient smile on your face. I hope you’re happy. Always.

So, broke me! Broke me for thousand pieces.. And lets deal with self-discovery once more. Stand up. Smile. No regrets and come back stronger!